Do Prodigal Wives have an easier time coming back to their marriages than Prodigal Husbands?

A new question asked by a member of the podcast, a question I am sure I have mulled about from time to time. In answering this question, it may be helpful to discuss a few view points as the pathway to reconciling is different for both marriages and the people included.

I believe the chances for Standing men and women to reconcile with their prodigal spouse is still 50/50. Marriages that may experience separation for various reasons can at times re-commit once more for various reasons as well. Some reasons or view points are complicated (infidelity, blended families, generational beliefs) and some are not (short temper, attitude, selfishness, fear). The parties involved in the marriage would ideally, talk out their own individual reasons for staying committed, openly and honestly disclose their greviances-- (what are/were the struggles each spouse faced in the relationship)-- together and find a common ground in which to build from.

The pathway for women that may seem easier to reconcile than their male counterparts is paved with a few social constructs:

• What her family think of her actions and mindset. Her relationship with her extended family may play a role in her reconciling with her spouse.

• Is her spouse prone to forgiving her easily? The patience of the standing spouse or the inability of the standing spouse to establish healthy boundaries can play a role in her reconciling with her partner.

• The ethnic background of the prodigal wife can also play a factor in her chances of returning to her marriage.

• Her maturity level. Depending on her own temperament, once she is able to understand and acknowledge her position and the position of her spouse their is an opportunity to discuss things with a level head.

• Her options. This one is a bit touchy seeing as how in this era, women are making powerful, meaningful strides, and contributions for the advancement of women's rights and acknowledgement. However, with new found purpose and discovery, there are some women who tend to rely strictly on their own merits while simultaneously disregard/criticize their partners. An example : "Why should I have to settle? Anyone would be thrilled to have me in their life!".

After these assessments, you may be asking "Well, what is the pathway for prodigal men and how is it different from women?"

The answers are not perfect, and I stress again that the pathway to reconcile is not the same for all.

For men, the points listed below may help shed some light on certain pathways for the Prodigal Husband:

• What does that man value more? Does he value his family and the legacy he created? Has he kept to the Word of God or has his path become swayed by social upbringing? Has he given up on being his people's savior? These questions are sub-paths and choices which are essential for the male prodigal spouses decision most like made long before he has entered into a committed relationship. Do not try to diagnose him, his pathway and choices are ever evolving.

• His relationship with either of his parents. It has been discussed all over the internet that men need their fathers, that hasn't changed. What has been brought to the forefront in this era is the relationship these same men have with their mothers or grandmothers. Behind closed doors, both societal heroes and anti-heroes are created (I can tackle this perspective in another post).

• His understandings or---adversely-- misunderstandings of infidelity. Cheating is a traumatic experience for all involved. But for those who have participated in aiding a married mans private excursions, the report is those types of men are compensating for something they deal with internally. Counseling and Talk therapy may be the most effect steps to his pathway of reconciliation.

• His temperament. The outlandish display of anger or contempt for his loved ones can easily be interpreted as toxic masculinity, a sort of behavior that keeps his opposition on its toes and his loved ones off balance. His behavior is like a defense to past pain and troubled realizations throughout his life. For example, the moment Neo realizes his world was not real and thus everything he knew about it.

There are numerous pathways to reconciliation both men and women take to becoming one again. Those same ways come and go quickly and often, if you choose center yourself enough to see experience them.

If your spouse wants to talk, find time and listen.

If you are separated but they still text you, talk to them. Make the text count.

Pray over their peace, a troubled mind makes rash choices.

Accept their choices but keep in mind why YOU are standing for the marriage.

In conclusion, the pathway to reconciling is dramatically different for men and women. No one has an advantage over the other. The best way to consider this question is to make it personal:

"Is your spouse's pathway to reconciling still open and available to you?"

If yes, then continue to work on yourself with Faith. Your healing and purpose can do wonders to your self-esteem and new found perspectives.

If you find yourself unsure, continue to work on yourself and allow the space needed to heal within the ever expanding blessings of the Holy Spirit. The answer may come sooner rather than later.

**These are just my opinions and observations on the matter. What are your own? feel free to email me or comment on the matter.