When You Should Take Your Eyes Off The Prodigal Spouse

Taking your eyes and emotions off your prodigal spouse isn’t as simple as #standers may think. You may have a home to take care of, bills to pay, children to raise, and all sorts of responsibilities to handle. There were days when I looked over all the bills that needed to be paid by the end of the month, feeling determined to pay each of them on time and in full. There also were days when I felt incredibly stressed and overwhelmed by that same determination.

I write this because, at the time, I was truly concerned with one thing, proving I didn’t need my wife’s assistance. So, I gave it my all, I went into work thinking all the hours and overtime request to my boss was enough to contend with our house affairs.

It wasn’t.

My mind was clouded with proving a point, and it was distracted from my best purpose task as a husband and father, serving through leadership. My leadership skills were not at their best, they felt lacking and sub-par if you will. I didn't talk to my kids very much during those days, and I didn't listen to them very much either. I could barely carry on conversations with the other family members in my home.

I didn’t have time to listen to whatever my wife wanted to say or inform me about our upcoming divorce. I was literally a shell just hiding in my own little world because my emotions were so wound up and so bound in her actions, both past, and present, I could not move forward.

One morning, I made another decision for my household, this time I wanted to do what was important for everyone under the roof and what was necessary.

I prayed over my meditation with God, I prayed over my home and everyone within it. I prayed, “Father, please allow me to be the leader this family needs and allow me to do all that is needed of me without any further distractions.”

What happened next was not necessarily a list of things I could do around the house.

I wasn't given a written down document about how to pay my bills when to pay my bills.

I wasn’t given great clarity on how to speak to my wife or how to listen to my children.

What I received was “confidence”, what I also received was “grace”, in gaining those two things I had my fear of rejection, my fear of failure, and the fear of being told no snatched away from my busied mind.

For some of us #standers, fear is our biggest enemy. If we conquer our fear, we would see that there isn't anything we as God's children cannot do. This season take your eyes off your prodigal spouse, take your emotions and let your emotions know they are no longer going to be controlled by the actions of others, and then tell yourself the best version of you is coming.

Without the fear of rejection, you will then confidently allow God to fight the battles you were never meant to fight at all, so you can focus on your life and those you allow in it. The next time you see your spouse or the next time you speak to them do so in a kind manner, one that is empty of emotional restriction and feel for yourself what it's like to live without fear of rejection and without fear of failure.

Today, thank God for coming into your life and directing your mind and your sight off your spouse. Back down your stress and heartache so that He may work on what is truly needed to bring reunion back into your marriage, in the meantime, you have the best days of your life still to live!

God bless,

Tyree